Wednesday, December 31, 2008

End of It to Begin

Today is the last day of 2008--an arbitrary date and an arbitrary number. The older I get, the more in sync I become with natural time: the phases of the moon and length of day.

I've come to the realization this year that the energy I want to have relies upon its necessary "opposite": the time I take to rest, reset myself, and recover from the mental and physical drive to accomplish my goals. To have more energy then means to spend much more time asleep, in relaxation, in meditation and glacial movement. This upcoming year I hope to allow the process to take over.

This year, I'll write my exams and begin my dissertation (although I've really already begun drafting). I'll shift from student to scholar. I'll present at and attend more professional conferences. I'll have many more conversations about deeply meaningful subjects.

And I'll display impatience with the things that interfere with my goals. And I'll become angry with stupid people who don't bother to have goals. All the while aware that goals are merely unnecessary, external hoops I've set for myself. But I'll jump through and applaud for myself just the same. All the while aware that jumping and applauding are equally unnecessary.

I'll write and I'll read. Hopefully more than before. And with less distraction. And I'll listen to much more music, which really is the most proper nourishment for my soul.

Debts will be paid. Time to travel and time to stay. Love to love and love some more. Kitties to pet and brush and nap with. More body hair to shave and trim. Longer hair to wash and brush and style. All mere externals. All mere child's play.

And play and play and play.

Happy "new" year!

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