Thursday, December 22, 2005

Tom Yest, a list? Yes, a list…

There were 78 monkeys in the Berlin Zoo: Cappuccino, Frappuccino, Macaque, Maka-monkey, Outta-me, Ape, Red, White, and of course Bleu, Howler, Bowler, Snow White, Snow Flake, Snow Ball, Rhesus Pieces, Spider, Squirrel, Champ the Chimp, Gorilla My Dreams, Baboon, Vavoom, Barbary Coast, Celebes, Celebrity, Celebrate Good Times Come On, Christopher Colobus and Nina, Pinta & Santa Maria, Douroucouli, Guenon, Langur, Mangabey, Marmoset, Proboscis, Saki, Whiskey, Wine, Tamarin, Basil, Bay Leaf, Titi, Booby, Wanga-wanga, Uakari, Wooly, Bully, and Barbara Mandrell (plus about 30 more, but they don’t figure so prominently in this part of the story). It was Barbara Mandrell the Mandrill that the man from M.O.N.K. came to see. Funny to write that, since the man from M.O.N.K. only had one eye to see with. And only one ear with which to hear. And only could breathe through one nostril. And, … well, you get the picture. The man from M.O.N.K. only got ½ of the picture, but that’s another story altogether! On his way to the Berlin Zoo, the man from M.O.N.K. took the S-Bahn, the U-Bahn, ate a bon-bon, bought a cherry bomb, made out with a bleached blonde, used ½ his brains and some of his brawn. For you see (at least ½ of the story), the man from M.O.N.K. was a portly gent with a slight limp in search of a chimp who contained a secret message in a microscopic capsule injected beneath the skin. The zookeepers and the tourists only saw less-than-half the story that day, as the man from M.O.N.K. (slightly) limped past the entrance gate, making his way to the cage of Barbara Mandrell the Mandrill. He lit the cherry bomb to distract the zoo officials, and slipped Barbara Mandrell the Mandrill out of the cage without anyone seeing. The ticket-takers back at the entrance barely noticed the man from M.O.N.K. (slightly) limping through the exit, holding hands with a much shorter woman wearing a dress and a wide-brimmed sombrero. All this from a one-eyed man!

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