Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Francophone Francophobe

It’s good to know the majority of words I’ve misspelled in the recent past have been French, a language I took one class in (no, not one course, but actually a one hour-long class when I was a sophomore in college). I dropped French after the first day and signed up for philosophy instead. (Yeah, that served me well.) As they say in Springfield, “Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre.”

And I may not be able to properly spell ménage à trois (oh wait, I just did!), but I know what one smells like.... Hee hee! And dear Editor (i.e., Stephen), what other non-Francophone can not only properly spell pamplemousse but order a vegetarian pizza in the Grand (Old) Duchy of Luxembourg and a café au lait in Montreal without any problem?

Le chat est bleu right back to you! (That’s the only thing I learned during my French studies. Everything else has been picked up during covert listenings to Pimsleur tapes, a drunken night with Poles at the Noir Désir concert, conversations with pretentious academics & artists, my world(ly) travels, as well as a shared car with a stoned Frenchman on the overnight train from Prague to Warsaw).

Speak my language: Franglais!


  1. French-English speakers have Franglais,
    Spanish-English speakers have Spanglish,
    Chinese-English speakers have Chinglish,
    but what, WHAT I ask you, do Polish-English speakers have???


  2. Hmmm, Boleslaw speaks Polecat. Maybe he would know.


  3. Ummm...I think you just wrote "The cat and blue." What does that mean really?

    And btw, I thought you misspelled menage-a-trois on PURPOSE on my blog. Ya know, to be funny. That's the cool thing about being an over-educated, otherwise-intelligent being...you can make mistakes and people think you're just being clever. Kewl.


  4. Hrumph!

    >>Over-educated, otherwise-intelligent being.
    >>Clever. Kewl.

    Guilty of all the above! And yet somehow still guilty of misspelling French--the only damned language on this planet that has silent Xs!

    Lori, you are correct: I did write, "The cat and blue." However, what I meant (and apparantly failed at learning in my one-hour French class during the fall of 1987) was, "The cat is blue." I have thence corrected my entry. Mea culpa ... (or am I misspelling Latin now?!?!).

  5. As for you, Miss Chrzanka: the broken, bastardized form of Polish-English (even though I'm willing to concede that Polish is already bastardized sufficiently by the Poles!) would be polgielski. There's just no other way around it: you have to use the Polish form.