Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Greetings from a chilly, autumnal Warsaw, where I've been living since the end of September. I feel like I haven't accomplished a single thing since purchasing my ticket to this side of the planet, not for lack of trying. The bureacracy and insanity of this life here remains insurmountable; I fear I may end up at the end of nine months with nothing to show for my anguished attempts to do something meaningful and important.

I feel fairly safe here, though I'm a bit more cautious than usual. The nightmares I had nightly the first few weeks made me somewhat paranoid: I'd search behind the doors and in the closets every time I'd return to my home. Feeling more like a target than I typically already do has made me even more opinionated about this war against terrorism. The sudden shift from my leftist pacifism to where I currently stand has left me quite disoriented. I find myself trying to place all my previously held beliefs into some kind of meaningful system that fulfills the narrative arc we all seek in our lives, knowing full well that random events will continue to dominate the existence we find ourselves in on this planet. I'm not sure I'd want it any other way.

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