Monday, July 18, 2005

Delusions of Adequacy

Yes! I've finally found the answer to that age-old question: What do most of my friends suffer from? I, of course, suffer from delusions of entitlement, thinking I'm somehow entitled to better friends than these....

Here is a short list of questions & comments I should've had the balls to voice over the weekend:
  • So, you're sending your 3-year-old son off to preschool this fall for socialization; when are you going to do that for your 36-year-old husband?
  • So, you were at the bookstore at midnight to buy a copy of the latest J.K. Rowland children's book. If you like Harry Potter, you'll love Georges Bataille's Story of the Eye!
  • A typical conversation works like this: a) I ask you a question; b) you answer and then ask me a question; c) I answer. That way we all have a chance to talk about how interesting we are. Your solipsistic soliloquy is not that interesting to those of us who are infinitely more interesting than you.
  • How appropriate is it to monopolize the conversation, constantly turning it back to marriage and children, when you're having a conversation with divorcees, gays, and an Indian man not yet in the confines of an arranged marriage?

Thank god I don't work with them!

4 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had a fabulous weekend!

    How about this one, I went to my nephew's christening reception yesterday in a very posh neighborhood in the far East Bay. (A little back story here, my cousin married into a fairly wealthy family. Except for her husband and a couple of his cousins, I find his family completely shallow, pretentious, and just fuckin' annoying. I mean I've met his mom at least 3-4 times and still doesn't have a clue who I am. Yesterday she looked at me and very loudly asked "And, who are you?" --"Oh, come on bitch you know who I am."-- This, after her genius-son (not the one my cousin married) looked at Yong and asked "So, what is your connection here?" Annoying, b/c he met Yong at least twice before. Judging from the crowd at their family functions, I don't think there are many Asians that attend their parties (I'm not counting the dragon dancers they hired for my cousin and her husband's med school gradation party, or the "personal" caterer they hire for their other events.)

    But I digress . . .

    So, the aforementioned caterer was hired to work my nephew's christening reception. She was working in the kitchen doing her thing and my cousin's mother-in-law was walking a group to the door. As she walked them through the kitchen she was complimenting the caterer,
    "Oh, Adrienne is great! She is great!"
    "You don't even have to tell her what to do."
    To make sure her audience heard her she said the last bit twice.

    I felt for Adrienne.

    Blugh!

    P.S. Jeopardy is totally rigged. I have a friend who went to the filming of a show b/c his friend was on it. He returned from the experience very jaded about the whole thing. I don't remember the details of the story anymore but it had something to do with how technical errors were handled (i.e., the shit we don't see).

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  2. Quit stealing the stuff I want to put in my blog, goddammit!
    I work with them, I should get to write about all the annoying shit they do outside of work, too. It was a literal buffet of material though, wasn't it?
    But I'll totally forgive you if you tell me the offenders names' in order of violation...

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  3. What about God and the fiery bush? I was intrigued with the idea. (SHIVER!)

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  4. So my question to you is..
    DO you EVER actually say what you think..? Just to trip these self centered pathetics off?
    or do you just just have an out of body experience by hovering over the actual event... and STILL just wanting, ever so badly to throw heavy objects from above at these people who you know should really cease to exist...
    Of late the people I hang out with seem to be of the "lets talk about my kids ,family,marriage all about me ..blah blah blah.." demographic.. why ? I don't know.. I must somehow be "deluding" myself into thinking that I can actually still stand hanging out with them.

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