Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Solstice

Struck by the realization that my life has been out of balance not the way typical of most people (too much work & stress and not enough bliss) but just the opposite: years of pursuing my dreams & following my bliss but not enough pragmatism & practicality when it comes to work or a career. Education-wise, I’ve perfected my mind in interdisciplinarity, but my mind has not been disciplined within any one discipline. I have breadth but no depth. Shayne’s analogy about jumping into a new pursuit with both feet but ending up merely running across the surface, only getting her toes wet, on to the next thing was particularly insightful about both herself and me.

I’ve spent years exercising my mind and spirit and body, so I thought that I was fairly balanced. But the bliss factor far outweighs digging down into the nitty-gritty and immersing myself completely toward the career I long for. And realizing that my travels have been distractions is certainly a new perspective. My sister’s signature file—the one that implicates me with every email she sends—includes “Bloom where you are planted.” Yet I’ve never felt grounded enough to bloom. (Mind you, I’m only talking about my professional life. None of these musing are to talk myself into settling for the first crappy job that comes along: I already have the job I want for now.) It’s just that I’m beginning to see that along the way, I’ve neglected some of the basic steps that will lead me to the career I want. So, it’s time I step back, perhaps even take a couple of steps backwards, and make sure that I’m as grounded as I can be professionally before jumping headlong into the next phase.

To celebrate the summer solstice, Stephen, Kris, Theo & I had a picnic at White Rock Lake. It was wonderful.

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