Friday, May 17, 2002


The past week in Gothenburg has been so tranquil, I already dread the flight back to Warsaw tomorrow morning. I’ve found it difficult to fall asleep at night just because I’m much more interested in staring at the stars outside my window. Morgan and Lars’ house is in the mountains, surrounded by a woods, near a huge lake, under a blanket of constellations I forgot existed.

And the time with Morgan has been really positive. I’m now much better able to understand who I was six years ago when we were last together, freezing to death during the winter in Lublin. That time was magical, and this time--in a completely new sort of way--was magical as well. I am always astounded when I find someone who stretches my mind. I am even more astounded the second time--when I get to reconnect and reacquaint myself with someone who had such an impact and influence on me when I was so much younger and so less the person I am today.

Things I want to remember about my stay in Gothenburg:

  • the scent of lilac while strolling through downtown at twilight;
  • riding the roller coaster and other rides at the amusement park;
  • visiting the manor by the sea with Oscar, who enthusiastically read all the signs;
  • seeing the ancient Norse settlement with the upright stones;
  • the ferry ride to the archipelago.

So I leave for Poland tomorrow, refreshed and revitalized and hopefully better able to deal with the unpleasantness of life there for the next 32 days. Looking forward to spending time with my friends before we all go our separate ways.

Wednesday, May 8, 2002


There are very few things that are as life-affirming as removing unnecessary things from one's life, putting necessary things in a box, and shipping that box to your home. That's the point I'm at as of this afternoon when I carried a 20-kg box to the post office after spending about an hour last night packing and unpacking and repacking.

Ah! the weirdo strange man just arrived at the Internet cafe. He's as predictable as the cleaning lady at the Hera. Even the little black dog that accompanies him seems put out by these daily adventures they have and the extremely bizarre conversations he has with the woman behind the counter every day at about this time.

When answering the all important question, "Was it worth it?" I still keep coming up with the same response: no. But I know I have to make sense of it if only because of the lyrics to that Sheila Chandra song: "An ocean refuses no river." If you have any thoughts on the matter, please send them to me before May 12th! (Just so you're clear, we are talking about sex....)

Sunday, May 5, 2002


I had my first nosebleed of the season. It's amazing how awful my body can be sometimes. The pollen is supposed to be particularly bad in Europe this year. Piles of this gunk swirl in giant clumps all over Warsaw.

Tomorrow is my 13th anniversary.... How could I have survived this long? Should have never accepted the Polish connection even at that point! (I wonder who else thinks about this day from 13 years ago....)

I leave Thursday for a short vacation to Sweden. Looking forward to seeing Morgan again after these 6 long years.

And the countdown continues: is it already only 45 more days?