Thursday, February 10, 2000


The day I received a letter from the U.S. State Department stating that I did not rank sufficiently high enough to be considered further for a position as an officer, I discovered a hole in my Dr. Marten boots. I bought those boots right before leaving for Japan over two years ago. And I've walked all over Japan, Texas, Beijing, Israel, Poland, Germany, Amsterdam, Juarez, Milwaukee and London in them. I have led one of the most interesting lives I know on next to no money, coming from a farm in East Texas, and having had no career before the age of 32--nor much of one lined up. My boots have done more than a majority of my fellow Americans. Yet I am still unremarkable according to several what-I-once-thought-of-as-potential employers: the U.S. State Department, the CIA., I can't even remember the number of universities and international organizations, a handful of bookshops, ad nauseam. Not ranking well enough on the exam means nothing to me, however. I'm more upset/angry/disgusted about having studied for the Foreign Service Exam for close to a year and a half. That is time out of my life when I could have been doing something a little bit more profitable, since I am now in the same position I've always been in (when not abroad): not having a professional position nor earning anything close to what I am worth. I can have conversations in FIVE languages. I am intelligent, creative, professional, nice, resourceful and utterly unemployable by the superpower nation which, according to all data, has next to no unemployment. I will call soon to see about getting unemployment benefits. It's about fucking time my country does something for me (he said rather angrily).

On a lighter note: I left Belo last Thursday. My supervisor was/is absolutely incompetent, unprofessional, unintelligent and reminded me of the emotionally disturbed children I once counseled in Fort Worth during my last semester as an undergraduate. May she, too, burn in hell (he said rather diabolically).

Well, after this entry, I'm sure the federal government will finally be beating a path to my door with charges of slander, hate speech for the *stoopid, and traitorous remarks. My work here as a cyber-terrorist is now complete. Adieu.

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